Moving On
by Seigi-san
Summary: Moving on is hard to do. Especially when the one you accepted is gone returns in a form you didn't expect...Neo x Murrue, semiAUish
1. Chapter 1

( New story! More of a 'what-if'. (yes, I like those kind of stories. The not quite AU but not quite canon lol) 'Tis just a random thought I had...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She couldn't decide where to put it.

The other possessions she'd managed to save from the shell of the ruined house sat here and there in the room, dotted on desk, bookcase and nightstand, but _this_ one was different. Not any less special than the others - in fact it was more so. She'd spent hours searching for it, hands ending up scratched and sore from picking through the rubble until she'd finally unearthed it...a precious part of her past. Even though the one it had belonged to before was gone now, her feelings for him weren't. Looking on this object reminded her of how much she still loved him.

Odd, that. Even though the pain of his loss had faded slightly during the last two years, even though she'd accepted that he'd gone, her heart still held on. Picking up the object, she held it close, breathing in the faint traces of his scent that still clung to the fabric. It wasn't all she had of him, not quite. There was the watch he'd always worn, that she'd found in his locker after Jachin Due and sometimes wore herself...and there were her memories of the time they'd spent together. But somehow, this white uniform hat, that he'd only ever worn to tease her, reminded her of him. _It isn't even the one he wore at Alaska - he came back without that. I gave him this one afterwards, but he never wore it officially. Only when he wanted to point out he outranked me..._

That caused her to smile. He'd loved to tease her - had done it at every opportunity, his azure eyes dancing with merriment as she'd half-heartedly scolded him. She'd never been able to get angry at him for it though. All he'd had to do was smile, and she hadn't been able to help smiling back.

Closing her eyes, she shook her head as a dozen fond memories flitted through her mind. Things that reminded her of him - if she held onto them forever, she'd never be able to let go of him. But at the same time, she couldn't get rid of them. He'd loved her, she couldn't forget that...couldn't bring herself to ever forget that. _What do I do? I accepted he was gone, so why is it so hard to let go?. And why does something he barely even touched remind me of him so much? _Sighing in frustration, she made as if to throw the cap across the room - but at the last minute she stopped, instead placing the object carefully on the bedside table. Even now, she didn't know how to react to him, did she?

Leaving the cap where it rested, Murrue got to her feet, taking a last look around the room. Whatever happened or didn't, she couldn't just sit here for hours thinking about it. People were waiting for her, after all. So, with a rueful smile at her own indecision, she left the room intending to make her way to the bridge...only to stop halfway up the corridor, placing a hand on one of the doors. More memories. Laughter, a wide boyish smile, the way he would sometimes lie in wait for her after a long shift, ready to scoop her up and carry her inside.

On a whim, she keyed the control, stepping inside as the door swished open. She had locked the door to his room after Jachin Due, the memories too painful back then for her to face. But now...Closing her eyes, she smiled. _It still feels the same. The atmosphere's still the same... _Being in here had always made her feel more at peace with herself, even though the layout of the room was the same as her own. It was because _he'd_ been here. All she'd had to do was come in here after a long day, whether he'd been here or not, and she'd felt better. Just like now.

Because now...she understood.

Stepping out of the room, she closed the door behind her, before making her way back to her own. _I understand now...why it's so hard to let go... _Why she couldn't just lock the hat away and forget about it. Because she didn't _want_ to forget. Part of her heart still belonged to him, and she had the feeling that it always would...so instead of trying to forget the time she had spent with him, or trying to put away the things that reminded her of him - she would embrace them.

_The more I try to forget, the more I'll end up remembering. Because Mwu, the way he was, the person he was...he was someone you just __**couldn't**__ forget. So instead of hiding from the memories of him, I'll accept them. Accept that he was a part of my life...that knowing him made me a better person._

Hugging the cap close one more time, Murrue placed it carefully in the centre of her bookshelf, a place where she would always be able to see it, and remember the one it had belonged to.

_And this way perhaps...I can move on._

Smiling, she flicked off the lights and left the room, on her way to the bridge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Weirdness ftw. Murrue-san did accept that she wouldn't see him again, didn't she? I get the impression that she's not the kind of person who'd be very comfortable with self-pity. Of course, it would have taken her a while to get over him - you can't forget or let go of a love like that overnight. But she'd be able to move on, ne?

Please read and review! (and it's not a oneshot...I have lotsa ideas for this story XD) )


	2. Chapter 2

He was standing at the observation dock when she found him. Just standing there by himself, staring out at the swirling snow and wind of the European winter, a lost look in amethyst eyes. The toy bird sat on his shoulder, looking up with a robotic chirp as she approached. The boy himself didn't seem to notice her footsteps, seeming to be lost in his own thoughts. Smiling a little, she called out to him.

"Mind if I join you?"

Kira turned to her, surprise clear to see on his face for a moment, then he smiled. "Sorry for loafing about in a place like this..."

Murrue's smile grew as she walked up to stand beside her young friend at the window. Kira-kun had been quiet and a little withdrawn since Lacus-san had left for space, and although they now had the fleet of Murasames, he seemed to have taken all the responsibility for protecting _Archangel _onto his own shoulders. "That's all right. You've been working so hard all by yourself..." Kira blinked, evidently having not thought she'd noticed, and her smile softened. "Are you all right?"

The young man sighed. "I was just thinking.." he began hesitantly, "why did things turn out like this?' Why do I have to fight Athrun again? Maybe he was right about the Chairman...and maybe Lacus was targeted by some mistake.." His shoulders slumped a little. "Is what we're doing really mistaken?"

"Kira-kun.." _How long has he been thinking about this? Torn between his feelings for Lacus-san and loyalty to a friend...he's been so strong lately that I forget he's still just a boy. All that's been happening must be very hard on him._

"I believe that trying to protect someone who is precious to you is never foolish or mistaken," she said softly, causing Kira to glance up. She was watching the snow fall, lips curved in a gentle smile, though she didn't really seem to be looking at anything at all. As he watched, the look in her dark eyes became faraway, reminiscent, as though she were remembering something pleasant, before she turned to him with that same smile. "Although I don't know about the world, you see, I think that you can love the world because there's someone out there who's precious to you..."

Kira was rather taken aback by her certainty. "Murrue-san..."

"I'm sure it's the same for everyone," she continued, "why they try so hard. Isn't that why we fight?" Then her happy expression faded somewhat, becoming wistful. "But sometimes people do it the wrong way, or think the wrong way...when all you wanted in life was for that one person to be there for you.."

And he understood. Murrue-san was thinking about Mwu-san. He remembered the first few weeks after Jachin Due...remembered how lost and unhappy she'd looked. It had taken her a few months, but much to the delight of Kira and the others, she had begun to smile again. Now she was much the same as she had been before, only, he thought, just a little different. Murrue-san seemed stronger now, yet gentler at the same time, and Kira had decided that it was because of Mwu-san. _She never let us see when they were together, but after he'd gone, everyone could see. Murrue-san loved him. She still loves him now._

Later, after his friend had gone, the young man continued to stand at the window, though this time his thoughts weren't ones of self-pity. Murrue-san had helped him out so much...and he'd just realised that there was something he could do for her. Out on the battlefield...he had sensed him. _I don't know how I knew...but Mwu-san was there. With the Alliance... _He smiled a little. He owed both his older friends so much - and the best way he could think of to repay them was to help them be together again. The next time he sensed Mwu-san out there on the battlefield...he would send him back to _Archangel_. Back to Murrue-san.

She sat on the edge of her bed, deep in thought, thin hands folded together. Her words to Kira-kun were something she'd thought of often in the few months after Mwu had gone. She hadn't wanted a grand heroic sacrifice...she hadn't wanted him to protect her. She knew why he'd done it, and she couldn't be angry at him for saving her life...but all she'd wanted was him there with her. _At first, I couldn't help but imagine how life might have been different if we had gone home together. What could have been. In time, those dreams faded...when I accepted that that was all they were. It hurt, but I know that it would have hurt more if I'd never let go._

But that was why she fought. He had given his life protecting her and the ideals they'd fought for, and the least she could do was to carry on that fight in his memory.

"I wonder what you'd think if you could see me now?" she asked aloud. A smile quirked her lips at the thought that she was talking to herself, and she shook her head, glancing up at the white cap that still sat on her bookshelf. "Would you be sad if you knew I was fighting again?"

He'd have been sad, she reasoned, flopping back onto the bed with a sigh. Sad that the war they tried so hard to end had begun again for no real reason. But that wouldn't have stopped him. He'd have fought, just as she and the others were fighting, and done his best to make a difference. Just like always.

Murrue smiled again, twisting a lock of dark hair around her fingers. Mwu had spoken a little about that in the months they'd been together - that he felt he'd been fighting for the right cause, that he'd hoped what they were doing would change things. Then he'd laughed, admitting it was something he'd never really given much thought to.

_"I don't really fight 'cause I want to change the world - I can't do that by myself. But one thing I can do is keep you safe. And if what I do means that someday you'll never have to fight again, then it's all worth it, whatever happens to me.."_

He'd kept her safe, just as he'd hoped, even though it had taken his own life to do it. And even though she hadn't wanted to fight anymore - had wanted to live a life of peace as he'd hoped she would - she couldn't sit back and watch as it all happened again.  
She'd fight for him as he'd fought for her. She couldn't make as big a difference as he had, but she would try...and maybe at the end of it all, she'd have helped to create a world they would both have liked to live in.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Random n fun XD

Please read and review! )


	3. Chapter 3

The sickbay was in darkness, the only light visible a sliver under the closed door. Glancing around the dim room, the man in the bed sighed. He'd been here for a couple of weeks now, locked up in the tiny infirmary with guards outside the door, chained to a bed. True, as prisons went it wasn't a bad one...the bed was comfortable, there were regular meals, and he could even watch TV if he wanted. But he had the distinct impression that the only reason he'd been given this treatment was because of who he looked like - the 'Mwu' everyone talked about. _When I think about that...it makes me wish they __**had**__ put me in the brig after all..._

So many people had made excuses to visit sickbay so they could gawk at him, he was beginning to consider charging admission. Between that and that Kira-kid's incessant chattering about how he was _sure_ to remember everything soon, he was getting thoroughly fed-up with this place.

And yet...

Hearing gentle, tapping footsteps approaching the room, Neo smiled, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep. Being here might be frustrating, but it did have it's perks. She came to visit every night around this time, peeking around the door to see if he was sleeping. And sometimes, if he was lucky, she'd come to sit beside his bed for a little while. He never once let on that he was awake, simply lay there contentedly and breathed in the scent that always followed her...the scent of flowers. For some reason, being around her brought a kind of peace he was unused to feeling, and he always looked forward to her visits...even if she did wish he was someone else...

The door swished open, the sudden flood of warm light into the room bringing with it that scent, and he almost smiled again. A smell that was familiar, yet he didn't quite remember the name, and it only grew stronger as she approached. There was a faint rustle of clothing as she sat down on the little chair beside his bed, and a soft sigh, and despite himself, Neo couldn't resist cracking open his eyes ever so slightly to watch her.

_It was the last thing I expected when I was brought here. I woke up here in this room...to find the most beautiful woman I've ever seen sitting beside me. She makes being in this weird place worth it. I just wish she didn't look at me wishing I were someone else..._

She had her eyes closed, delicate face pale and drawn, her hands folded together in her lap. She looked exhausted, and Neo couldn't help but be surprised at the wave of compassion and concern that hit him. Why did he feel sorry for her? She was the one who'd brought him here...was his jailer, almost...so why did he feel this way? And why did being around her make him...happy?

Forgetting he was supposed to be asleep, he sighed, causing the young woman to jump in alarm.

"Oh!" she said, soft voice almost a squeak. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to wake you up..."

"I was awake anyway," he replied. "Why are you here?"

She looked away at that, brows knitted into a slight frown. "I..I came to check up on you and Athrun-kun...and..."

"And we're fine. The kid's sleeping, and I haven't escaped. So everything's okay." He really didn't mean to be so short with her, but when his instinctive reaction to her unhappiness was to put his arms around her and hold her close when he had no idea why, he couldn't help but be irritated by it...

She nodded with a small smile. "I can see that. Sorry to have bothered you..." Getting to her feet, she got to her feet and prepared to leave...only for him to reach out with bound hands and catch her wrist.

"Wait.."

She blinked, clearly as startled as he was at his outburst. She glanced down at his hand, then back at his face, a faint tinge of rose spreading across her cheeks. He looked away, wondering why his heartbeat had picked up. "You don't have...to go just yet.."

She nodded again slowly, sitting back down. Those unusual golden-orange eyes shone in the half-darkness, reflecting her obvious confusion, but she didn't say anything. Neo regarded her for a moment, then sighed again, letting go of her wrist and flopping back in the bed.

"I just wanted to talk to you." he admitted. "You're here every night, you always come to talk to the kid...but I don't even know who you are..."

She smiled a little, brushing a lock of dark hair behind her ear. "You're right. Sorry.."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "And you keep apologising. I'm the prisoner here, aren't I? How come you're so concerned about me?"

"Because...well..." She sighed, shrugging a little. "We don't take prisoners very often. And you were injured when we brought you here, so..." She quirked another smile. "Would you rather we'd put you in the brig?"

"It might stop people staring at me.." he grumbled. "I mean...I get that I look like this other guy, but I'm not him.."

"I know," Her soft reply surprised him - after all, hadn't she been sitting by his bedside when he'd first woken up? Had cried when she'd realised he wasn't who she'd thought he was? He was the last person he'd have expected to accept that he wasn't this 'Mwu'. She evidently saw his surprise, giving him a bittersweet smile that somehow hurt him more than her tears had.

"I know," she repeated. "And I'll ask people to leave you alone. I can't stop them being curious though.."

Neo nodded, but something about the woman's words made him think. "Are you...the _captain_?" _Of all people...she's the last I'd expect to be in charge. She seems too...soft, too kind... _

She nodded, seemingly amused by his surprise. "Yes, I am."

"I wouldn't have guessed," he admitted. "You act more like their friend than their captain.."

"I can't be both?"

Her answer once again surprised him. He'd no doubt he'd been an efficient captain, probably more efficient than she was...but he hadn't been _friends_ with his crew. His only friend had been Stellar, and even then she had just been a means to an end. This captain was friends with her crew, and from the way they acted around her, the friendship was reciprocated. _Maybe for that reason, she's a better captain than she seems..._ There _was_ something about her besides her beauty that made him notice her, something compelling that he couldn't quite put his finger on that made him believe she was more capable than her gentle demeanour suggested.

"How did you end up as captain?" he asked, settling back against the pillows to listen more comfortably. Almost without him realising, her presence had caused him to relax, her scent and soft voice soothing, and he smiled properly for the first time since he'd been brought here.

"By accident," she replied. "This ship was attacked before it ever launched, and a lot of people died. I was the highest-ranking officer left, so..."

"So you drew the short straw, huh?" he asked, and she smiled.

"I had help.."

"From your friends?"

She nodded. "That's right.."

_Maybe she's a better captain than me..._ Closing his eyes, he yawned, finally sleepy. "Thanks.." he mumbled.

"For what?"

"For talking to _me_, not the person everyone thinks I am. And...for being kind, I guess.." Prying open azure eyes, he smiled again. Often back on his own ship, he'd had strange dreams. Whispers, giggles, the feel of soft skin and material, a sweep of dark hair... _I could never see her face clearly, but I think that if I had, I'd have wanted her to look just like you..._

Closing his eyes again, he drifted off to sleep, for the first time...happy he was here. Maybe he'd dream again of her...only this time with a face.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Hee, weird. Sorry bout that. But you rarely see Murrue and Neo talking in GSD, or at least if you do, you never hear what they're saying...

Please read and review! )


	4. Chapter 4

The wind had picked up. It blew around them, making hair dance and uniforms rustle. She stood there close to the railing, thin arms wrapped around herself to keep the chill away, not noticing his avid gaze. Ever since he'd been brought on board, he'd felt that there was something odd about this young woman. Something he wasn't able to ignore. And today, that feeling had been there, stronger than ever. When she'd run away, leaving him there alone on the cliff-top...he'd experienced such a sense of desolation, of loss, that he'd almost run after her. She was important. Important to him in a way he didn't know how to explain - but all he knew was that if he'd left, gone back to the Alliance, he'd have given up a part of himself he hadn't even known existed.

_Something in me wouldn't let go - didn't want to let go. I had to stay..._

And when he'd flown back to the ship, to land the damaged Skygrasper, he'd seen her. Just for a few seconds...an image of her sitting on what he supposed was the bridge, but the uniform she'd worn wasn't the white and purplish-blue of Orb, but the white and grey of the Alliance. And it hadn't felt like wishful thinking...a wish that she was on the same side as him, but a memory. As though it had actually happened. And maybe it had.

And maybe being here would help him understand.

"Thank you.."

She turned to him at that, delicate features softened with a smile. "For what?"

"Letting me stay. Thank you.." Suddenly embarrassed, Neo looked away, azure eyes focused on the sea. "I didn't think you would.."

"Why wouldn't I?" Still smiling, she moved to sit on the railing, gazing out to sea. The sun had set now, the light of the rising moon illuminating the two of them...and he couldn't help but stare. The silver light reflected from her hair, turning amber eyes gold, and she looked so beautiful he forgot how to breathe for a moment. Smiling a little, shaking his head at his reaction, he moved to sit beside her, looking out at the ocean and the glittering buildings of the Orb mainland.

"I didn't expect you to want to stay," she said quietly, smiling again. "I thought you didn't like it here.."

"At first, I didn't," he admitted, swinging his legs idly. "Everyone looking at me...staring at me, wishing I were someone else...it's not exactly comfortable. But after a while, the ship started to feel different. Familiar. Like if I walked out of sickbay...I'd know exactly where to go..." He laughed a little, tipping his head up to look at the stars. "And when that Athrun kid called me Commander La Fllaga...I was more mad that he'd gotten my rank wrong than my name."

The captain looked up at him, those eyes of hers showing surprise, but she didn't say anything.

"I wanted to stay," he continued. "because this is the first place I ever felt like I belonged. And...because of you."

"Me?" Her cheeks pinked in a faint blush, and Neo chuckled, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

"That's right. I told you...that I knew you. And I do. But it's more than that. I know that you're important to me somehow, and that being here will help me understand why.."

Her blush deepened, but she did smile, shuffling a little closer. He had changed a great deal since being brought on board the _Archangel_...his whole personality seemed to have shifted. Instead of being objectionable and uncooperative, the man sitting beside her was rather bewildered. From what Murrue was able to tell, he'd seen or remembered something he didn't quite understand...something that had changed everything for him. And now he was different. Confused, lost, but also gentler...kinder.

_He had changed before that, though. Ever since that night, I'd find time to visit him after my shift, and we'd talk for a while. I told him a little about this ship and what we were trying to achieve, but he seemed more interested in me. He asked about where I came from, how I got here, whether I liked being captain...all kinds of things. And I have to admit, I found it easy to talk to him. It was...nice._

"But I never asked _you_..." she said aloud, almost to herself. But he heard, turning to her with a quizzical expression.

"Asked me what?" he inquired gently.

"W-well..." Murrue replied, hating how her voice stuttered, "you asked me all kinds of things...about where I came from, how I got here, but I never asked anything about _you_..." Glancing up at him, she smiled a little, only to blush when the smile was returned. Why was it she reacted this way to him? She'd accepted that this man wasn't Mwu...that despite his similarity to her lost loved one, he wasn't him. But was it different? Did she react this way because he was like Mwu, or because he was _him_? Closing her eyes, she sighed.

"There isn't much to tell," he said softly, azure eyes trained on the darkened sea. "All I really know about myself is what I told you earlier...from my service record. But as for before..." He smiled, though it was tinged with bitterness. "Memories...all I have are of the last two years. Nothing before that.."

"But you have more than that.." she said without thinking.

"Do I?"

"Yes. You asked to stay here...you wanted to stay here. You're happier here, aren't you?" At his nod, she smiled. "Then you already have more memories. And you can go on making new ones. Enough to last a lifetime.." Breaking off, Murrue pinked. "Sorry. That must have sounded strange.."

"No, it didn't." he admitted. "I never really thought about that before. But what do I do about the stuff I don't want to remember?"

She rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in the faint traces of his cologne and soap. "You can't forget them. Whether you like them or don't, they're part of who you are. Instead of pretending they don't exist, just accept that they did..."

He nodded faintly, pulling her a little closer. "Is that what you did? After you lost that Mwu guy?"

"That's right. I was never able to forget him, so I stopped trying to...and I found that by accepting those memories, I was better able to accept that I wouldn't see him again.."

The blonde man seemed to consider that. "Do you still miss him?"

Murrue laughed softly. "Of course I do. I think I always will. But being sad won't bring him back..."

"But you cried when you found out I wasn't him..."

That caused her to bite her lip. Despite everything, her acceptance of things, she hadn't been able to suppress that surge of hope when she'd seen him lying there. The hope that by some miracle, he'd come back to her. And when that hope was dashed, for a moment...it had felt like she'd lost him all over again, and she hadn't been able to help herself.

"Maybe I haven't moved on as much as I thought.." she mumbled.

"That's all right."

Surprised, she glanced up. His scarred face wore a cheerful smile, blue eyes dancing. "It's all right," he repeated. "Cause, we have each other now. Maybe we could help each other move on?"

She had to smile herself at that. "That sounds nice.." she admitted, settling back down beside him. And it did. They could help each other accept their pasts, and that way, they'd be better able to look forward to the future.

_Perhaps, in a way, we needed each other..._

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Rambling ftw yo. Sorry it doesn't make much sense...

Please read and review! )


	5. Chapter 5

It was late at night. Too late. Checking his watch he sighed, running a hand through long blonde hair. Close to midnight. And while his shift began at seven the next morning, and he was certainly tired, he didn't want to turn in just yet. Leaning his head against the cool glass of the observation deck window. he smiled a little. His reflection had certainly changed in the last few weeks. Gone was the metal mask, the neatly-worn black uniform, replaced by the blue and white of Orb. He'd even had a haircut. The captain had insisted on it, in fact, and he'd been happy to obey - as long as she was the one to do it. And despite her obvious embarrassment, she had.

Reaching up to the back of his neck, Neo smiled again. True, the ends were a bit uneven, but that didn't matter. The feel of her fingers brushing the back of his neck as she'd worked...he could have stayed there forever.

_She took a look at me once she'd finished, and smiled, saying the people back on my old ship wouldn't recognise me now. She doesn't know how right she is..._

All anyone had ever seen of him was a black uniform and mask. His face he had hidden on the orders of his 'master', his scars he had hidden...because he had no idea how he'd gotten them. They'd just told him his mobile suit had been shot down - that he was the only survivor from his ship. But how much of that was true? All he knew of himself came from his service record. They could have told him anything they wanted, and he'd have known no different.

Shaking his head, he turned and walked away. Here, things like that didn't matter. He didn't have to be 'that' Neo..he could be whoever he wanted to be, create new memories for himself. She had told him as much.

_And I'm doing that. Making friends with the people here, taking care of that mobile suit the Representative lent me...but the best memories I've made here are the ones with __**her**__ in them..._

He spent as much time as he could with her, being there to provide support and advice on the bridge, sitting with her in her office when she was working late...being with her brought a sense of comfort and stability he was unused to feeling. And she did seem to enjoy his company, her pale face lighting up in that beautiful smile when she saw him.

On a whim, Neo decided to check up on her before turning in for the night. No doubt she'd be holed up in her office, poring over the paperwork that was a constant part of a captain's life. She took this work very seriously, often staying up till all hours of the night to get it finished, and didn't like to be disturbed.

But he'd risk it anyway. Tapping at the office door, he called out quietly. "Captain? Captain, are you there?"

No answer. Taking a deep breath, he keyed the control to open the door...then smiled.

She was still at her desk, cup of cold coffee by her side, head pillowed on arms and paperwork. Her dark auburn hair hid her face, but he could clearly make out soft, even breathing, She was sound asleep.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked out loud, his tone one of mixed affection and exasperation. "I can't really leave you there, can I?"

Crossing to her side, Neo knelt down and carefully brushed a lock of hair from her face. She was smiling in her sleep, the smile growing a little at his touch, and for a moment, he just sat there and gazed at her.

"You're the reason I wanted to stay here, you know?" he told her softly. Of course, she couldn't hear him, but that was okay. "Why I didn't leave. Something here.." he tapped his heart, "something here told me you were important..." He still didn't quite understand why he was so sure about that, but it was something he couldn't deny. Alone, or with the others, doubt crept in...about whether someone like him really did belong in a place like this, whether what he'd seen was real. But around her, all those doubts vanished to be replaced by a kind of sweet peace. Around her, he seemed to become a different person...the person he'd rather be.

Getting to his feet, he very gently scooped the sleeping woman up in his arms and carried her over to the sofa. She didn't wake up, but she did snuggle closer, murmuring happily. Unprepared for the warmth that flowed through him, Neo grinned like an idiot. He'd gotten the same feeling that day when he'd asked to stay here...when he'd embraced her out of instinct. _It's like...things are meant to be this way..._ Closing his eyes, he leaned back against the sofa, nuzzling his face into her rose-scented hair. _I understand now. I love her. I think...I've always loved her. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell her..._

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Mmmmm..." Blinking sleepily, she reached up to rub an eye. _Did I fall asleep at my desk again?_ But this didn't feel like her desk...and she didn't have the aching neck and pins-and-needles feeling that usually accompanied her naps there. Instead, she felt warm and comfortable. And when she breathed in, there was a scent that was so familiar that for a moment, she didn't remember what it was, just that it made her happy. Snuggling back down, she closed her eyes again, content to return to her dreams.

Until she remembered where she was.

"Huh?" Sitting up straight, she glanced around wildly. Her desk was just as she had left it, everything was in place...except her. Somehow, she'd ended up on the sofa - but who had put her there?

"Hey.."

He was smiling, blue eyes twinkling with amusement, and as Murrue stared, he ruffled her hair affectionately. "Do you feel better now?"

Rubbing her eyes again, she smiled herself, rather embarrassed. He must have found her asleep at her desk, and brought her over here to sleep more comfortably. It was nice, and she did appreciate the gesture...but still..

"Did you really have to sit me on your lap?"

The blonde man chuckled. "You're welcome. And no, I didn't have to. But you seemed pretty happy there..."

Blushing, she looked down, gaze focused on her hands. "I see. Well...thank you." Clambering off the sofa, she made her way to the little water boiler in the corner of the office, filling it up and flicking it on. She was very aware he was watching her, but she didn't turn around.

_Why do I act this way around him? He's only been a part of this crew a few weeks, yet ever since he joined, we've acted this way. As though we've known each other for years..._

It wasn't a case of simply being attracted to him - if that was all it was, she could have ignored that easily. It was more than that. Just being around him brought a sense of comfort and happiness she hadn't felt in a long time, and when he smiled at her, it always made her heart race. She knew perfectly well what was happening...and it both delighted and terrified her.

_I'm the one who wanted to move on with my life. I didn't expect this to happen so soon, but I'm not able to ignore it. All I can do is accept it..._

"Are you all right?" Hearing the concern in his voice, and his hand on her shoulder, Murrue sighed. Turning around to face him, she smiled. "I'm fine. Just...thinking."

"About _him_?"

His question was so unexpected that for a moment, she didn't know what to say. "What?"

He smiled a little, though the expression was a little lopsided. "Are you thinking about him? What I did while you were sleeping - did he use to do that too?"

"He did," she admitted, understanding his question when his face fell. "But that's not what I was thinking about. Why do you ask?"

"Cause...well...I.." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I just wanted to know more about him. What he was like...whether I really am like him..."

Murrue smiled. It was understandable. If she was told she looked and acted almost exactly like someone else, she'd want to know more about that other person. The Colonel had accepted he was like Mwu, and bore it without any more resentment. But apparently curiosity was a little stronger...

"All right then. I'll make us both a drink, and then I'll tell you about him if you like..."

And she did. Curled up on the sofa beside him, cup of cocoa cradled in her hands, she told him. About Mwu, what he'd been like, the way he had teased her...everything. Talking about him was comforting, the memories pleasant to remember rather than painful, and although they brought tears sometimes, they also brought smiles.

The Colonel listened quietly, smiling himself, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders when she had finished.

"He sounds like a good person.."

"He was.." Smiling fondly, she gazed into her cocoa. It felt nice to talk about him, especially to someone who hadn't known him. With Kira-kun or any of the others, whenever she mentioned Mwu, they would often butt in with their own memories of him, and although it was nice...sometimes she wished she could just talk about him and be listened to. To share memories of the Mwu _she_ had known, rather than the one everyone else had seen.

"You still miss him?" he asked softly, winding a lock of her hair around a finger.

She nodded. "I think part of me always will. But I know I'm a better person for having known him. And I hope that if he can see me now...he'll be smiling.."

He smiled himself at that, pulling her a little closer and resting his chin on top of her head. "Am I like him?"

"Is that why you asked?" Murrue wanted to know, voice tinged with amusement. "Do you want to be like him?"

He coughed, looking away, and she had to stifle giggles. She knew now how she felt about him, and she didn't need Kira-kun's whispers or knowing smiles to tell her that it was reciprocated...the blonde man didn't exactly hide his feelings that well. Perhaps he thought that if he acted more like Mwu, she would like him more?

"You are a little like him," she admitted, "but you don't have to act that way to get me to like you. I...like you anyway.." Blushing at her own admission, she looked away, but not in time to miss his delighted smile. And before she could say anything else, he wrapped her up in a warm embrace, nuzzling his face into her hair.

"Thank you.."

Closing her eyes, she smiled, returning the hug. The two of them stayed like that for a while, sitting close together, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her waist. Perhaps this was a way of moving on...or perhaps it was just what had been waiting to happen...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Incoherence ftw. Well, someone said that Murrue was looking for love, and it's clear as crystal that she and Neo rather like each other. So...lol

Please read and review! )


	6. Chapter 6

( Hee. Date time. Yes, we all know Neo asked Murrue out in phase 46, and since it's my story, they're going to have that date. As for Mia, well, she'd have died whether Akatsuki was there or not (although I'd prefer it if she hadn't, poor Mia). Anyway, on with the superfluff... )

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I shouldn't be doing this..._

Picking nervously at the red fabric of her T-shirt, she sighed, wondering for the dozenth time why she'd agreed to this. He'd asked her if she wanted to go out for some fresh air, and without even thinking, she'd accepted. But was it really the right thing to do? For the captain to play truant from her ship? Even in a neutral port... She couldn't quite shake the feeling that this was a mistake. But then she remembered his happiness. When she'd agreed to this, his scarred face had lit up in a huge boyish smile, and he'd wrapped her up in a hug to thank her. And, just as she'd known would happen, her heart started pounding, the rush of blood to her head making her dizzy.

_I can't help the way I react to him. All he has to do is smile and I feel all warm and happy..._ Shaking her head, Murrue smiled, pressing her hand to her heart. Around most of the crew he was polite and friendly, if a little distant...but around her, his demeanour changed, becoming attentive and gentle, and she wasn't the only one to notice it. Kira-kun had seen it, and it clearly made the boy happy.

_"He still loves you, Murrue-san,"_ he'd said cheerfully, fairly bouncing on his toes. _"I knew he'd remember.."_

Whether he did feel that way or not, she wasn't sure. But she understood all too well how _she_ felt about _him, _and Kira-kun had noticed that too. Before he'd left to get ready for the trip out with his friends, the young man had more or less instructed her to make the most of the time they had here, to relax for a change. _"Go and take a walk with him. You never got the chance before, did you? And you two have a lot to catch up on.."_

And he'd asked her...and now here she was in the hangar waiting for him. All around her were the familiar sounds of her ship, the chatter of the mechanics and technicians, and she closed her eyes and listened with a small smile. Her ship would be just fine for a little while without her - the crew would take care of it. The world wouldn't stop if she took time out to enjoy herself a little.

"Are you ready to go?"

Opening her eyes, Murrue looked around to see him leaning against the little car, a broad grin on his face. Not having any civilian clothes of his own, he had removed his uniform jacket and undershirt to leave just the blue and white Alliance-issue T-shirt, and he had even managed to scrounge a pair of jeans from somewhere. (and she had to admit, they looked _really_ good on him..)

Nodding, she glanced away, wondering if she was blushing at all. She could sense his amusement, but he didn't say anything about it, just opened the car door for her with a bow. "Milady."

"So, where shall we go first?"

The two of them walked through the streets of the colourful city, taking in everything. Seeing the bustle of people, the shops and traffic, the captain smiled happily, golden eyes sparkling. She didn't answer him, but he didn't mind a bit, pleased for the opportunity to watch her. She looked relaxed and contented, a life to her Neo had never seen before. _Asking her to come out here was definitely the right idea..._ "You like it here, don't you?"

"It reminds me of home," she replied softly, tipping her head back to let the reflected sunlight warm her face. "It's nice to know there are still some places the war hasn't affected too much..."

"I've never been anywhere like this," he admitted, gazing around at the streets and people. "I didn't know places like this even existed.."

"They do. As long as there are people who fight to protect those places, they'll continue to exist." Her voice was quiet, slightly wistful even, and Neo smiled.

"That's why you fight." It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway. Stretching out a little in the sun, she sighed, then shook her head.

"Sorry. I shouldn't be talking about that kind of thing. We came out here to relax.."

"It's no trouble," Neo replied cheerfully. When she didn't smile, or say anything more, he sighed himself, catching hold of her hand and tugging her down a small alley. The passage opened onto a quiet square, a fountain in the centre the only sound to be heard aside from the murmurs of the people out on the streets.

"C'mere," Without another word, he pulled her into a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. "It's all right. "

She laughed a little, nuzzling close. "Even when I'm away from the war, I can't get my mind away..."

"You'll be able to. When it's all over..." Hugging her a little tighter, he kissed the crown of her hair. "When it's all over, you can go back home. And...and maybe I can go there too..."

The captain murmured happily at that, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Surprised by this affection, but nonetheless pleased by it, Neo smiled. Maybe...she might be happy if they could go home together? Closing his eyes, he breathed in the scent from her hair, and allowed himself to imagine what a life spent with her might be like. He had no recollection of what a normal life was like, or even if he'd ever had one, but maybe with _her_, he'd be able to find out.

"You want to carry on walking?"

Lifting her head to look up at him, she smiled. "I like it here. But I do have an idea. Wait here a minute, okay?" Before he could say anything, she'd disappeared back out into the city, leaving only the memory of her smile. Chuckling, he shook his head in amusement, sitting down on the edge of the fountain to wait for her. She was easily the most interesting person he'd ever met. At first glance she seemed quite ordinary, a kind-hearted young woman who might be unremarkable were it not for her beauty. But once you knew more about her, you began to understand that there was far more to her than outward appearance suggested. She was quite simply the _strongest_ person he'd ever met, her spirit and bravery putting others to shame. Neo hadn't seen her when she was angry, but he got the feeling that it wasn't something he wanted to face anytime soon. But in turn, he had seen a side of her he knew others hadn't. A playful side, one that was teasing and affectionate - a side that had caused him to fall head-over-heels in love with her.

_Meeting her that day was the best thing that ever happened to me..._

"Back," she called softly, smiling as he glanced up in surprise. He seemed to have been deep in thought, blue eyes faraway and distant, and her reappearance had startled him. "Sorry,"

He smiled himself, the gentle expression causing her heart to flutter like always. Looking down, knowing she must be blushing, she took a deep breath to collect herself before making her way over to him with the objects she held. "H-here.."

"What is it?" Taking one, he studied it for a moment, his confusion making Murrue giggle. Sitting down beside him, she nibbled at the treat she had bought.

"Ice-cream," she replied, swinging her legs a little as she ate. "Go on, try it."

Hesitantly, he sniffed at the frozen treat before licking - then his face lit up in a huge smile, his delight causing her to stifle another laugh. She had guessed correctly that he had either never tried ice-cream or didn't remember what it tasted like, and she had also been right that he would love it. He finished his own ice-cream before she was even halfway through hers...then hugged her close again. The sudden embrace made Murrue almost drop her half-melted cone in shock.

"Hey!" she squeaked, pinking a little. He just laughed, nuzzling close happily.

"Thank you," he murmured into her ear. "For everything, I mean. For letting me stay, for all this. And for the ice-cream." Before she knew what was happening, he'd kissed her on the cheek. The sensation was gone as quickly as it had appeared, but the effects... her face felt as though it were burning. Taking a deep breath to try and calm her racing heart, she stared down at her lap. Her ice-cream had slipped from her hands unnoticed, the treat lying melted and forgotten on the ground.

"I...I.." she murmured, trying to form a coherent sentence, and he sighed, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Sorry.." He sounded apologetic, worried. "I shouldn't have done that.."

"N-no...that's okay.." she replied. "You just surprised me, that's all."

_It did surprise me - but it wasn't exactly unpleasant..._ Without thinking, Murrue pressed a hand to her face, feeling how the skin was still hot. Shaking her head with a small smile, she looked up at him. The blonde man looked embarrassed, but happy.

"I didn't mean to do it," he said softly, "but it's something I've wanted to do for a while now."

"Then why didn't you just say?" she asked, smile becoming one of affectionate amusement. "I wouldn't have said no.."

His face lit up at her words. "Then...can I kiss you again?"

Blushing, she nodded, heartbeat picking up as he pulled her a little closer. Feeling his fingers curling in her hair, she closed her eyes...

Only to open them wide in surprise as a drop of water fell right on the end of her nose, He looked as startled as she did, blinking and looking around as more drops fell in a soft patter all around them. Rain. It didn't rain often in artificial environments like Copernicus, but they did it to create a more Earth-like atmosphere for the residents, and to help crops grow. Since most rainfalls here were scheduled, it was usually only the visitors who were caught out...like today. As the rain got heavier, the two began to look around for shelter - only to find that there was none in the secluded square. Laughing, pushing a lock of already soaked hair behind her ear, Murrue caught his hand, tugging him to his feet. "Come on! The car's not far away!"

The streets were deserted, most people having taken shelter from the sudden shower, and the couple were alone as they ran along the pavement hand-in-hand. The Colonel laughed breathlessly, brushing wet hair out of his eyes. "This wasn't the end I had planned for this date.."

"What _did_ you have planned?" she called back.

"Anything but this! A movie maybe, or dinner...something romantic.."

His admission caused her to blush again, but she couldn't help smiling, heart racing in sheer delight. Pulling back on his hand to turn him around, she threw her arms around his neck, stood up on her tiptoes...and kissed him square on the lips. He made a sound of muffled surprise, blue eyes widening for a split second, then chuckled into the kiss, returning it with a passion of his own. Winding an arm around her waist he brought her closer, one hand tangling in her hair as the exchange deepened.

The rain still fell, running in rivers down the street and continuing to soak the pair through...but neither cared. This had been waiting too long to happen, and they were determined to enjoy every second...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Hee. No, no onsen (sorry sis) but it'll be next chapter. I just liked the rain kiss idea too much. And I also liked the idea of Murrue being the kisser rather than the kissee for a change hehehehe.

Please read and review! )


	7. Chapter 7

( ONSEN! Lol, sorry, inside joke. But yes, we has a bath chapter :happy dance: Hope you enjoy! )

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stretching out in the uncomfortable office chair, he yawned. Paperwork. One of the things he'd hated most about being captain of his own ship was the way the reports and forms had seemed neverending...always one more thing to sign, one more log to prepare. But here was different. Here he wasn't in charge, and the only paperwork he had of his own were the maintenance reports for the golden suit the little Representative had lent him. Most people, he reasoned, would take advantage of this. Would do as little work as they could get away with. But here he was, having not only done his own work, but doing part of someone else's. She had protested, of course, but he had seen how tired she was, seen the slump to slender shoulders, and wanted to help her.

_I know how much she hates paperwork - so this is something I can do for her...something to make her life a little easier... _Sure, it was pretty late at night, and he was tired himself, but it was almost done. And besides, the thought of seeing her sleepy face light up in that beautiful smile when she realised she had no more work to do tonight made it more than worth it. Smiling himself, Neo picked up his pen and carried on working, signing his name to the documents and reports. As he'd become second-in-command (almost by default), something he gathered this ship hadn't had in quite a while, he was able to take some of the burden off his captain's shoulders, and did so gladly. As the last report was signed, he leaned back in the chair again, smile becoming a grin of triumph. Now his captain no longer had all this work to do, perhaps the two of them could spend some time together. Ever since their day in the city, they had grown closer, beginning a fledgling relationship kept hidden from the rest of the crew. Of course, a lot had noticed a change in their captain, especially the Kira-kid. Neo was pretty sure that the kid knew exactly what was going on, but so far he hadn't seemed to have told anyone else. He just smiled, evidently pleased his captain was happy, and said nothing.

_I guess I owe him for that..._ Yawning again, he moved to get up, deciding on a cup of coffee to wake him up a bit, but before he could, the door swished open. He didn't turn round...but he didn't have to. Even with his eyes closed, he could tell who was there - he could always tell. The scent of flowers, a kind he now knew were roses, filled the room, and he smiled happily.

"I didn't know you'd be in here.." she said softly, a note of surprise in her voice. "Didn't you go off shift a few hours ago?"

"I had stuff I wanted to do," he replied, hiding another smile. Getting up, he moved to the small water boiler, flicking it on to make coffee for the two of them. The captain murmured something understanding, small feet tapping on the deck as she walked toward her desk.

"Oh, you don't need to bother with that," Neo said airily, no longer able to hide his amusement. "I did that earlier.." Turning around, he chuckled at the startled expression on her delicate face as she took in the stack of finished paperwork.

"You did all this?"

At his nod, her face lit up, her smile so stunning it almost took his breath away. He had hoped for that, but the reality was far better than his imagination had been. Coughing, he looked away, feeling his face grow warm. "Uh...I..." Before he could say anything more, she moved close and hugged him, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck.

"Thank you..."

"Y-you're welcome.." This was a bit more than he had expected, but it was the best reward he could have asked for. Closing his eyes he hugged her back, breathing in the scent from her hair. The perfect end to a day...or so he thought. Pulling away a little she looked up at him, amber eyes softened with happiness, then stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him softly.

"You look tired.." He _felt_ tired, feet and eyelids heavy, but right now he didn't care, wanting nothing more than to stay here in her embrace. Shaking his head, he smiled, leaning down to kiss the tip of her nose.

"I'm fine..."

But the captain wasn't buying it. Pulling away (much to his disappointment) she took his hand and tugged him toward the door. Neo grumbled audibly, trying to pull back to keep her here with him, and she looked up at him with a faintly scolding expression. She didn't say a word, simply raised an eyebrow and tipped her head toward the door, and he sighed, knowing this was a fight he wouldn't win. Nodding meekly, he followed her.

_It's not fair. I wanted to stay with her, to sit on the sofa with coffee and talk for a while. I wanted to spend some time with her..._

But the captain was adamant, leading him down the corridor and not listening to a word of complaint. She seemed to be hiding a smile, a twinkle to her eyes that he could see clearly, but she wouldn't say anything...wouldn't even tell him where they were going. Oddly, they weren't heading towards the officers' quarters, but rather to a deck in the lower part of the ship where there were only maintenance and storage rooms. Stopping outside one room in particular, trying harder than ever to keep from smiling, she keyed in the controls to open the door...then pulled him inside.

"What's this room for?" he asked, gazing around at the cubicles and lockers lining the walls.

"This is the bath.."

"This is the _what_?"

Peeking up at him, Murrue couldn't help but giggle. His expression was halfway between astonishment and delight, and looked so comical it was impossible to keep a straight face.

"The bath," she repeated. "You look as though you could use a break.."

He blinked, scarred face adorably baffled, and she laughed again, standing on her tiptoes to brush a light kiss to his jaw. "You don't want to?"

"I get to take a bath?"

She nodded.

"With you?"

She blushed, but managed a small smile. "If you like..." It was a nice thought...a very nice thought. They had spent a lot of time together since their day in the city, talking and laughing and getting to know one another a little better, and she had come to care for him a great deal. She had hedged for a while over the idea of furthering their relationship, of admitting her feelings for him...but she didn't know how he would react to that. Closing her eyes, she sighed.

"Hey..."

Feeling his arm warm around her waist, she looked up, heart skipping at his gentle smile. Leaning down, he nuzzled a kiss to her cheek. "It's okay," he whispered. "You don't have to. But you know that nothing will happen you don't want, right?"

She nodded, closing her eyes again as he kissed her forehead softly. She knew that nothing would happen...that he would more than likely be the perfect gentleman, but her heart was still fluttering wildly. _Why am I so nervous? I brought him down here - I knew he'd want me to stay with him, And I wanted it too. All it'll be is a bath... _"Well, come on then.."

"Huh?"

Opening a nearby locker, Murrue handed him a towel before steering him in the direction of a changing room. "Meet me at the showers when you're ready." He seemed surprised for a moment, then grinned, understanding. Kissing her on the nose he slung the towel over his shoulder and walked off whistling, leaving her standing there smiling. _He never does what I expect...but then again I'm used to that. It's odd that expecting the unexpected should be so comforting, but when you learned to love that about someone, perhaps it's not that surprising..._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Taking turns in the shower (she had barely been able to work up the courage to let him see her in a towel, let alone less..) she was in the bath before him. The small room was quiet and dim, steam rising from the hot water and making the air shimmer. Smiling a little, Murrue sank into the water, sighing in bliss as the heat soothed aching muscles and washed away fatigue. She hadn't been in here in far too long, and certainly not with company. During the last two years she had unofficially decided to wait for Mwu, and would never even have entertained thoughts of being with anyone else, let alone take a bath with them.

_But I decided to move on, didn't I? Everyone said that Mwu would want me to be happy...that he wouldn't want me to hide myself away and wait. I loved him...I'll always love him, but I can't help it if I love someone else, can I?_

A soft cough broke her contemplation, and she glanced up to see him standing there, his cheeks faintly pink. She was about to smile...then realised the state they were both in. The towels they wore concealed very little, and she could see every detail of his bare upper body. Despite herself, Murrue couldn't help watching a droplet of water roll slowly down his chest, following it down until it soaked into the towel at his waist.

_Oh, my God... _Blushing furiously, she looked away. Her heart was racing again, the sudden rush of blood to her head combined with the hot water making her rather dizzy. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the side of the bath to catch her breath, and so didn't see his own reaction...which was much the same as hers. He'd caught sight of her on leaving the shower, just before she'd got into the bath - and all he'd been able to do was stare. The towel she wore only covered what it had to, exposing long slender legs, the sweep up of her dark hair showing off the curve of her neck...she was perfect.

Taking a deep breath, Neo stepped into the bath. The hot water stung the scars that criss-crossed his body, causing him to hiss a little in pain, though quietly so as not to worry her. But she heard him, concern showing in those large dark eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah.." It did hurt, but the pain would fade...it wasn't important. Sitting down in the water, ignoring the sting of heat, he scooted over to sit beside her, winding arms around her waist to bring her close. The captain squeaked, reddening further, but didn't pull away. Instead, to his delight, she leaned back against him, and rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh.

"You wanted this," he said quietly. He'd wanted the same thing. The chance to be completely alone with her, to spend time with her without duty or the crew interrupting. He loved her, and didn't particularly want to share her - here he could have her all to himself. Closing his eyes he hugged her a little tighter, breathing in her scent.

"I did." she replied equally quietly. "I wanted to go somewhere...where no-one could find us. Where we can't be watched and talked about...like we're in a bubble.."

Neo smiled. He understood that well enough. When he and the captain were both on duty, the crew watched any interaction between them like hawks. And even off-duty, they could never find time to be alone without at least one person 'accidentally' interrupting them. The gossip channels on any ship usually worked overtime, and a relationship between the two senior officers was the perfect fodder.

"So now that we're completely alone," he murmured, beginning to gently stroke the bare skin of her arms, "what would you like to do?"

She gasped softly, eyes fluttering closed, but didn't answer, simply tilted her head to one side as he pressed tiny kisses to her neck and shoulder. He could feel her quivering, and knew that right now he could do whatever he wanted, and she wouldn't resist. But he had promised that nothing would happen that she didn't want, so however much he wanted it, until she gave her permission, these kisses and caresses would be as far as things went.

"I love you, you know?"

She opened her eyes at the sudden confession, pale skin rose pink from the water and his attention. She didn't seem surprised by his words, just smiled contentedly and settled back in his embrace.

"I know." she answered softly. Turning around a little in his arms, she traced the scar that ran across his nose, the delicate touch sending little shivers through him. "I've known for a long time. And I love you too.." Winding her arms around his neck she kissed him, the exchange more passionate than any they had previously shared. The words were ones they had wanted to say for a long time, duty and past worries keeping them bottled up inside until now.

The next step in their journey to let go of the past and walk into a future had been taken, and what happened next...well, they would make that decision together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( fwee for tension XD.

Please read and review! )


	8. Chapter 8

There wasn't much to look at. The lights of the Copernicus docks shone brightly, reflecting off the other ships berthed there and the few workers milling about, but he didn't really notice them. Rather than his attention being focused outward, it was instead centred inward. He was thinking about...well, all kinds of things. About how he'd come to be here, how much his outlook had changed in the last couple of months...about her. Smiling a little, he leaned his head against the window. Even when he tried to focus on something else, somehow his thoughts always returned to her. The reason he liked this place so much - why he felt so comfortable here, part of it might be due to the odd familiarity of it all, as though he'd been here before. But most of it, he was sure..was because she was here. He had met her, spent time with her, gone out and in the bath with her. He'd fallen in love with her...and no-one seemed surprised.

"Mwu-san?"

The voice and name made his smile grow, it becoming slightly rueful. He knew most people on this ship still thought of him as being Mwu, but at least they referred to him by his rank. But one person still stubbornly refused to call him anything but Mwu. The Kira-kid.

"What is it, kid?"

"How come you're not with Murrue-san?"

Neo raised an eyebrow. Both his and his captain's shifts had ended about an hour ago. He'd walked her back to her room, kissed her goodnight, and come here to think for a while. And though he'd have liked to have spent a little more time with her, he knew she had work to do. And besides...

_Things are different now between us. I love her, and know she loves me. When I'm with her, I never want to leave, and I'm afraid of what that might lead to. I already know I don't deserve her love, and I deserve that kind of relationship even less. I want it more than anything...and that alone makes me realise that I can't have it..._

"She's tired," he answered quietly. He didn't offer any other explanation or words, and knew the kd wouldn't be satisfied with his answer...but was it any of his business anyway? Studying the boy's reactions reflected in the window glass, he wasn't at all surprised to see him frown.

"But you want to be with her, don't you?" Kira protested. "You were always with her before.."

"No, _he _was always with her," replied Neo mildly. "Not me." She'd accepted he wasn't Mwu, had told him quite happily that she loved who he was, not what he looked like, yet he was still jealous of the man who'd come before. Put simply, he was jealous of anyone she'd been with before, especially Mwu. Mwu had had a connection with her that he could never have, because however much he loved her.

"I'm not right for her," he said, almost to himself. "Someone like her deserves better."

"But she loves you," Kira replied. "Whatever you did...it doesn't matter to her. And if she could hear you right now, she'd probably get mad at you.."

"Yes, she probably would," he admitted, lips quirking in a grin at the thought of her being cross. She'd stand there, hands on hips, those beautiful eyes of hers narrowed in a scowl...and she'd look so adorable that he'd just have to kiss her. Noticing the change in the older man's demeanour, Kira grinned himself.

"My point is," he said softly, "that Murrue-san could find someone else. She could find someone who you think would be better for her - but would you let her? Even thinking you don't deserve her...could you let her go?"

That question startled Neo for a moment. Let her go? Could he? To see her give that smile, that love...to someone else?

"No. No...I couldn't..." _It doesn't matter whether I deserve her or not. I love her. Instead of being jealous of the connection she had with Mwu, I should make my own connection with her. I don't remember ever being happy before I met her, and I don't want it ever to end. So...rather than keeping away, I'm going to hold on tighter...and never let go._  
Nodding his thanks to the kid, he turned and walked away. He might not deserve her love...but he wasn't about to let anyone else have it...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hmm?" She had been reading for once, her paperwork all finished, and had been about to turn in for the night when a knock at the door had disturbed her. Slipping on her robe, Murrue opened the door a little way. "Yes?"

It was him. Smiling sheepishly, a faint pink tinge to his cheeks...not who she'd expected to see, but more welcome than anyone else. Smiling herself, she opened the door a little more, gesturing for him to come in. True, she was in her nightclothes, but he _had _seen her in just a towel. Closing the door behind them, she reached up to trace the scar on his nose. "I thought you'd be asleep by now.."

He smiled a little, but didn't say anything. He seemed to be thinking about something, an odd light to azure eyes that for some reason caused her heartbeat to pick up. Flushing, she glanced away...only to look back at him when he cupped her cheek with one hand. "Colonel?"  
Without a word, he leaned down and kissed her. Her eyes shooting wide open in surprise, Murrue gasped. The kiss was so passionate it made her knees tremble and the ends of her fingers tingle...but she didn't pull away. Instead she closed her eyes and accepted it wholeheartedly. The kiss and his touch sent fireworks through her, especially the possessive way he held her, and when they were briefly forced to break for air, she simply wrapped her arms around his neck as he scooped her up in his arms. She knew what would likely happen, yet she didn't fight it - didn't want to fight it. Instead she kissed him again, thin fingers winding in blonde curls as he gently laid her on the bed.

_This is...what I want..._

"Mmmmmm..." Stretching out, she smiled blissfully as he pressed tiny kisses to her neck and shoulders. Feeling tired, but very happy, she in turn kissed the crown of his hair and snuggled back into the pillows. "What brought that on?"

His answer was a muffled chuckle, and he eventually raised his head to smile at her.

"Cause I love you," he replied, his face so close to hers his lips tickled her skin. "I wanted to prove it to you.."

Murrue sighed. "You didn't have to prove anything." Brushing aside a lock of dampened hair from his face, she kissed his forehead gently. "I told you, I've known for a long time"  
He smiled, kissing her in turn before settling down in the bed beside her, face nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She could see him watching her, blue eyes twinkling, and giggled softly. No, he hadn't needed to prove he loved her, but she was more than happy he had. Snuggling closer to him, she closed her eyes and yawned, making him laugh softly. He sounded as tired as she felt, his eyes half-closed, though he still smiled.

"I'll take care of you.." he murmured. "I know you don't need it, but let me anyway. If you need me, I'll be there for you..."

"I know. And thank you. For everything.." And she meant it. He'd done so much for her since joining the crew, shown her kindness and love, been there for her... he'd been everything she needed, and she was so grateful she didn't know how to tell him. But then..she didn't need to. He already knew. Kissing him again, Murrue closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, content in the arms of the one she loved. This hadn't been what she'd expected when she'd become captain again.

But perhaps...it was what she had always been looking for.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Hee. Satsuma to cheer up big sis. Hope you like it!  
Please read and review! )


	9. Chapter 9

The digital clock on the nightstand told her it was an hour before she had to get up...but even though she was tired, she couldn't get back to sleep. Instead she gazed at the ceiling of the small room and let her mind wander. Something she didn't want to think about...but couldn't _stop_ thinking about. The battle. Lacus-san and the others had decided that today would be day the Terminal fleet attacked Messiah. Murrue couldn't help but feel a chill of foreboding, closing her eyes against memories of Jachin Due.

_It still scares me. I know it shouldn't...that I'm a stronger person - a better captain than I was back then. But it still...it still scares me. Not for my own sake, but for the others. I don't want to lose anyone else..._

Pulling the covers up around her ears, she squeezed her eyes shut tighter, wishing with all her might that today didn't have to happen. She didn't want to fight anymore...she wanted to go home. With her friends - with _him_. Sighing, Murrue pulled the covers up further as though trying to hide from the outside world. Selfish, yes, and also childish, but right now she didn't care.

"What's wrong? Are you cold?" She felt him stir, and a moment later he wound his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "Is that better?" He sounded rather sleepy still, and she smiled despite herself, turning around in his embrace to look up at him.

"You're awake early," she scolded, poking his bare chest. "You should get more sleep. Today's important.."

He raised an eyebrow. "Not just for me, though," he pointed out, skimming fingertips across her cheek. "How come _you're_ awake?"

She dropped her gaze, focusing on his chest. "N-no reason.." she replied softly, hating how her voice stuttered. Snuggling close to him, she buried her face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. She loved him. In the past few months, she'd come to love him very much. He had shown her affection and kindness at a time when she'd needed it most, and she hadn't been able to help falling for him. And now... Raising her head, Murrue looked up at him again. He still looked tired, blue eyes half-closed, but he smiled, caressing her hair lovingly.

"It'll be okay," he said softly. "You're worried, huh?"

She blinked, surprised for a moment, then smiled ruefully, lying back down and pillowing her head on his chest. He could always tell when she had something on her mind. "A little," she admitted, closing her eyes as he began to trace patterns on her back. "I wish we could just stay here. Or go home and forget all about it.."

"I know. But it's just this last battle. Then we can go home together, if that's what you want.."

She nodded, heartbeat picking up at the thought. That was her fondest wish...for the war to be over, and for the two of them to be able to go back to Orb and live quietly together. To be able to wake up to sunlight and fresh air, with him there beside her, and know that there was nothing to worry about anymore.

"It's funny.." she mused quietly, tracing patterns from the scars on his chest. "I didn't want to fight again...didn't want to be on this ship again, but if I hadn't..."

"I wouldn't have met you," Neo finished, pulling her a little closer. If he'd never met her, his life would have been very different. He'd have returned to the Alliance, carried on being Djibril's loyal shadow..._ She's the one who changed me. Because of her, I'm able to be a better person. With all that's happened between us...I can't imagine being without her... _ Smiling, he kissed the crown of her hair. "Whatever happens today, I'll keep you safe.."

Immediately, her contented smile disappeared. Squeezing her eyes closed, she pulled away, sitting up in the bed and hugging her knees to her chest. Confused, he sat up and placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling her shivering. "What is it?"

She didn't answer for a moment, dark hair veiling her face. Then she spoke, voice so quiet he could barely hear it.

"Why does everyone always say that? Why do they have to do it? I don't need - don't _want_ protecting!"

Her outburst surprised him...he'd never heard her sound so bitter. Sitting up a little straighter, Neo hugged her close, resting his chin on her shoulder. He wanted to protect her, to take care of her...he didn't want to lose her. But the sad and angry tone to her voice... "Murrue," he said softly, using her given name, "what happened?" _Did __**he**__ say that too? Her Mwu? _"Is that how he died?"

She didn't answer, but she didn't have to. Her silence told him all he needed to know. She didn't want him to protect her...because she was afraid of losing him. But...

"I never had anyone I wanted to protect before," he admitted. "I wasn't the kind of person people wanted to get too close to. And I kept my distance from everyone...even you until a few weeks ago. I thought I wasn't right for you - still do as a matter of fact, but someone helped me understand that...that I couldn't let you go.."

She raised her head to look up at him, surprise reflecting in amber eyes, and he chuckled quietly. "It's true. And knowing I can do something to keep you safe...it feels nice. I know you're worried about the battle, but I am too. You're..." He broke off, laughing nervously. "Sorry. I'm not used to saying things like this..." Taking a deep breath, Neo hugged her tighter, placing a soft kiss to her cheek.

"I'm really glad I met you. And...I don't want to lose you, okay?"

She smiled a little, and nodded, her cheeks faintly pink. Closing her eyes, she turned around and nuzzled close, brushing a light kiss to his lips.

"Okay," she replied quietly. "But _I_ don't want to lose _you_ either. So if you really must try and keep me safe, try and keep _yourself_ safe, all right?" With one last kiss, she wriggled from his embrace and climbed from the bed to make her way to the shower.

Setting the water running, Murrue smiled as she heard him whistling to himself in the main cabin. She knew his feelings for her, and while they made her happy, they also worried her. She'd also known what he'd say about the battle...had dreaded it. _I finally found someone else to love, someone I could go home with...and I don't want to lose him too. I finally moved on, found happiness, but if something happens to him, I'll be back where I started. I don't want to be alone anymore..._

Shaking her head, she tried to clear her mind of those thoughts. That didn't have to happen - _wouldn't_ happen. She was a better captain than she had been back then. She would protect her ship herself, so _he _wouldn't have to.

_This time, perhaps I can keep __**him**__ safe..._

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( She moved on...but what if history repeats itself? I'm sure he'd want to protect her (old habits die hard) but I'm also sure she wouldn't want that. Maybe she'd want to protect him instead?

Please read and review! )


	10. Chapter 10

The hangar bay was a hive of activity. All around were mobile suits, workers, technicians, a lot of whom, to his delight, he recognised now. Friends, colleagues...he _remembered_ them. Remembered their names, things about them... Grinning boyishly, he undid the seat straps and hit the control to open the cockpit, floating out into the cavernous room. For the first time since coming back to this ship, the noise and chatter didn't bother him. Instead it made him happy. He belonged here. And also...he belonged somewhere else - with _someone_ else. Glancing around eagerly, he looked for any sign of the dark hair, the slender frame.

But she wasn't there.

Murdoch was, however. Floating downwards, he caught the gruff chief's attention. The older man grinned, waving cheerfully. "Welcome back, Colonel! Good job out there!"

He nodded, managing an awkward smile. "Thanks. Uh...have you seen Murrue?"

Murdoch looked surprised. "The captain? No, she's not been down here. She's probably still up on the bridge..."

"Yeah..I guess. Thanks again.." With that, he made his way from the noisy hangar, leaving his friend there staring bemusedly after him. He still had work to do, of course, locking down Akatsuki, checking it over...but this was more important. Deep in thought, he made his way along the quiet corridors. He was a little hurt that she hadn't come to find him, but then again, there was a lot still to do even though the battle was over. Right now the bridge would be as busy as the hangar bay, and she would be there in the middle of it. _Typical Murrue..._

Whistling to himself, he floated past the observation deck on his way to the bridge - and stopped short. Standing by the window, illuminated by the stars and lights of nearby ships, was a slender dark-haired figure. Grinning happily, recognising her instantly, he moved to stand beside her.

"I didn't expect to find you here..."

She didn't answer. Baffled, he leaned closer, only to gasp when he saw her reaction. He'd expected happiness perhaps, or anger that he'd risked his life again. But instead, Murrue was crying. Not sobs, or hiding her face in her hands - she'd never liked letting people see when she was sad - but simply standing there, eyes closed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Not understanding, but hating to see her in pain, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Murrue, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him, more tears swimming in amber eyes. "Mwu..."

He nodded, and she closed her eyes again, the tears escaping. "I see. You must hate me right now.."

Mwu blinked. _Hate her? How could I ever... _"Why would I hate you? How could I?"

"Because of...what happened," she replied softly, thin hands twisted together. "Between...between you - I mean Neo - and I..."

"You think I'd hate you for that?" Without giving her a chance to answer, he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close, breathing in the scent from her hair. "There's no way I could ever hate you. I _love_ you, silly..." She made as if to pull away, but he wouldn't let her, holding her tighter. "And I certainly wouldn't hate you for that. I wanted you to be happy if anything happened to me.."

Murrue seemed a little reassured by his words, but was clearly still unhappy, tears soaking the fabric of the pilot suit he wore. Not quite knowing how to help her, he continued to hold her close, murmuring endearments. _How could she think I'd hate her? She's the only person I've ever loved..._

"Aren't...you happy?"

Murrue smiled a little, nuzzling closer to him. "Yes.." She _was_ happy. She had accepted Mwu was gone, but it hadn't stopped her missing him, and certainly hadn't stopped her loving him. Him being back here, just as though he'd never left - it was wonderful. But still...him being here...

"He's gone, hasn't he?"

Mwu made a questioning sound, muffled by her hair. Sighing, she raised her head to look up at him, reaching to trace his scar with a finger. "Neo. He's gone, isn't he?" To her frustration, more tears started to well up, and she buried her face in his pilot suit as much out of embarrassment as out of sadness. That was the real reason she'd been crying. She knew Mwu wouldn't blame or be angry with her for finding happiness with someone else...it had been what he'd wanted her to do if he'd never come back. But now he had his memories back, she had Mwu...but had lost the man he had been. Lost Neo. His kindness, affection...he'd done so much for her, made having to fight again a little more bearable. She'd loved him, been happy with him. And..

"He's not gone."

"Huh?" Blinking back her tears, Murrue looked up at him. He was smiling, the sheer affection in that smile almost taking her breath away, and as she stared, he carefully wiped away the last of her tears before kissing the tip of her nose.

"He's not gone," he repeated. "He's still here. Everything he did, everything he saw...I remember. I have my own memories back, but I still have _his_. And I know how he felt..." His smile grew, becoming the exuberant boyish expression she remembered so well, but had rarely seen from Neo. "He loved you. The time I - he - spent here...he'd have spent it all with you if he could have. And when he used Akatsuki to defend the ship, he did it for the same reason I did.." Leaning down, he brushed a light kiss to her cheek. "To protect you.."

Knowing she was blushing, Murrue huffed. _They really are the same, aren't they? _ "But..."

"But you don't _need_ protecting," he replied, chuckling. "I know. Indulge me."

"It seems that's all I ever do," she pointed out mildly, earning another laugh and a hug. She accepted the teasing with good grace...realising now just how much she had missed it. Neo had been gentle and kind, charming even, but also rather quiet. Mwu on the other hand, having the lifetime of memories Neo lacked, had a little more self-confidence...but he didn't seem as noisy as she remembered. _Perhaps being Neo...changed Mwu somehow? _ "You're different, aren't you?"

"Am I?" he asked in surprise, looking down at himself as though the changes were somehow visible. "Is that bad?"

Not being able to hide a smile, she shook her head. "No, it's not bad. I just meant that you've maybe changed a little bit. Neo was quieter, and I wonder if that's made _you_ quieter too?"

Mwu considered this, then shrugged. "Maybe it has. But however being Neo changed me, it hasn't changed how I feel about you..." Carefully, he ran a finger down the side of her face, causing her to blush again. "And you know, _you've_ changed too."

"I tried to," she admitted.

He grinned, looking her over affectionately, and was rewarded with another blush. Outwardly, Murrue was the same, long dark hair curling over her shoulders, slender figure, and those beautiful amber eyes looking up at him. Even as Neo, with no memories of her whatsoever, he'd been drawn to her. He'd wanted to stay with her, and as he'd got to know her all over again, he'd fallen for her all over again. _I'd never met anyone like her before. To me, she was perfect. Even when I was a prisoner...when she was meant to be my jailer, I wished she'd visit me more often. I wanted to join the crew...because I wanted to stay with her._

Now he understood that the Murrue his amnesiac self had fallen for was different from the one he remembered. She was stronger, her already formidable spirit shining brighter than ever. She'd missed him, she'd admitted that much, but she'd also said that knowing him had made her a better person. And in turn, knowing _her_ had made _him_ a better person. Being around her had changed him...helped him to smile, and he'd been grateful for that.

"You changed me," he said softly. "You helped me remember how I was supposed to be.."

He understood a little better now. Everything here had begun to remind him of his life before, the ship, the crew, the brief time he'd spent in Orb, but more than anything...it had been her. Her kindness, her love, had done more to reawaken his old self than anyone or anything else. Grinning again, Mwu caught her by the waist and swung her round in the air, enjoying her delighted giggles.

"Thanks so much.."

"You're welcome, I guess," she said, wrinkling her nose. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she leaned down from where he still easily held her up in the air and kissed him on the forehead. "But I didn't do anything. And besides.." She smiled, the expression impish. "I wouldn't have minded at all if you hadn't gotten your memories back.."

"Oh?" Pretending to be scandalised, he set her back down. "So you'd prefer me with amnesia, would you?"

She just smiled sweetly. "Well, you _were_ more polite. And very charming. I could have gotten used to that..." Mwu grumbled, folding his arms and pretending to sulk, and she giggled. Standing up on her tiptoes, she ruffled his hair - then squealed with laughter as he tickled her ribs. "No, no, stop it!" she shrieked, wriggling to try and escape. "Stop it!"

Ending the tickle torture, he pulled her close. "So, you'd really prefer it if I had no memories?" She couldn't answer for a moment, breathless from laughter, and rested her head on his shoulder to calm herself. She stayed like that for a while, nuzzled close, and he was more than happy to let her, breathing in the scent of roses from her hair.

"I guess.." she began, voice soft, "that memories don't matter that much. It's here that counts.." Reaching up, she tapped his heart. "What you remembered changed...but what you felt didn't. Maybe that's part of the reason we got together again?"

_I never thought about that. That I didn't really 'fall' for her...but that things were just picking up where they left off. That even if I'd never gotten my memories back, we might still be together...because I always loved her, and she still loves me..._

"You're right.."

"Of course I am," she replied, raising her head to regard him gently. "So whatever you want to remember, whoever you want to be...as long as you stay right here with me, I don't mind."

"All right then. What else do you want to happen?"

Murrue considered this for a moment, then brightened, giving him that playful smile he loved. Standing on her tiptoes again, she kissed the scar that wound across his nose.

"Didn't you tell me that when the war was over, you wanted us to go home? Well, that's what I want too.."

Delighted, Mwu scooped her up into his arms, swinging her around again. What he'd always wanted. For it all to be over, and to go home with her. To live a normal life by her side...to settle down. She'd accepted he was gone - but he'd reappeared back in her life as though nothing had ever happened. _One step forward, two steps back..._

But then again, did moving on mean forgetting? She'd gotten on with her life, had become stronger for it, but it didn't mean she'd left everything behind. She loved him, had loved Neo...didn't that mean she loved who he was now twice as much?

"Is this moving on, or moving back?"

She giggled, leaning forward to cup his face in her hands. "I don't care."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Possibly the weirdest ending to anything I ever wrote :sweatdrops:

Please read and review! )


End file.
